Lexicon for Busy as a Rainbow
Busy as a Rainbow – The subject line in an email in a dream I had about the end of an affair. Waking up in the morning after the dream, I felt a huge pit in my stomach knowing that things between him and I would soon end, and that they would probably not end well; we were too different and he would soon be leaving New York. The pit in my stomach shrank, however, as I continued to mull over the phrase busy as a rainbow and the joy in knowing that such an absurd phrase could come from my subconscious. The term remained in my head all day, and when I told Jen about it later that morning, we found ourselves keeled over in laughter in the middle of 53rd Street. I knew then that it would stay with me.
Dance – I love dancing! It’s amazing how elated I feel after hip-hop dance class. If the music is good, I can stay out all night, moving my feet, completely losing track of the time until I suddenly see the sun come up. It’s that good.
Distance – The more time that passes after each experience in one’s life, the more one can reflect on it. Life becomes a collection of experiences, and having the chance to step outside of one’s feelings can turn into the greatest source of inspiration. I like to look at most of the experiences I have in my life as experiments; it takes off some of the pressure and puts them into the bigger picture. See Optimism.
Excuses – In concept, I love making videos. In practice, I think I hate it, because I am still intimidated by the process. (“I’m too tired,” “I don’t want to dance in the street in a costume,” “What if this is a stupid idea?”). What I am beginning to also tire of is self-portraiture because it’s hard to get exactly what I want since I can’t look through the viewfinder; it also requires a lot of running back and forth between the camera and the set. Furthermore, I am also intimated by performance. It may be the risk of embarrassment or the risk of failure, because neither of them, especially performance, are safe places for me.
Graffiti – Colorful like a rainbow. Busy like one, too.
Identity – In Karmic Fulfillment: Busy as a Rainbow Dance several parts of my identity are revealed, including my sense of humor and my insecurities. What is also revealed is my love for the ridiculous and irreverent. Color, dancing, costume, urban environments, and pop music. See Taste.
Organic– While filming, we discovered alternative meanings for busy as a rainbow. One never knows how something is going to turn out until one tries to make it, and this is the beauty in creating. It often goes places where one never expects, and this comes from allowing oneself to get lost in the process and let it take over.
Optimism – Having a good attitude when times are rough is salvation, and can even make you laugh.
Self-Portrait – The video is an epic self-portrait. While showing my insecurities, it also shows my sense of humor and ability to laugh at myself. Like I said in the beginning, I’m a pretty happy person, and I like rainbows and unicorns.
Sketches – I made a drawing of a busy rainbow. It looked like a rainbow and a lightning bolt crashed into each other, or an upside-down storm cloud.
Taste – One may think I have very bad taste. Garish colors, pop music, and silly costumes do not appeal to everyone, but they do to me. I can’t help it.
“We Got Some Breaking Up to Do,” a pop song by Private – A very happy song about breaking up with someone. Sugarcoat your hard feelings with a few bars of pure, danceable pop music and all of the sudden things aren’t so bad.